I have had so many moments where I have asked the question, “who am I?”. I have looked in the mirror and looking back was a woman whom I didn’t know her true identity. She had changed.
I have always wanted to be a mom. Always. And God blessed me to be one. I knew it was a selfless and wonderful calling. But I didn’t know how selfless. I knew I would do anything for them. Do absolutely anything to keep them safe and help them know they were loved. What I didn’t know was that I would give up a piece of me.
I used to know exactly who I was. I used to have so many hobbies, passions, interests. I was sure those were all still in there but I didn’t have the time to find out.
For quite a few years, I didn’t notice the loss of me. Because I was so wrapped up in the new joyous adventure of motherhood.
But there came a moment. And moments that followed. Where I was not sure who I was outside of being a mom. For years I didn’t even need to know.
But there I stood, in front of the mirror, looking back at a woman who resembled me but perhaps a little more tired and quite a few more smile lines from the wonderful adventure of being a mommy.
I realized at that moment that being a mom was the most honorable calling I had ever been given. It was what defined me. What gave me joy. But I also realized at that moment that I felt lost. Who was I? Who is Kristen? I started to pray about who I was. Who I wanted to be. I wanted to have goals, passions, aspirations that were outside the realm of motherhood. For awhile I felt that was selfish. I wasn’t used to thinking about me. But I have grown. I have realized that God made me me. And there is a lot that defines me. And although motherhood is one of my greatest most precious callings, I have been made for so much more.
I am me! And that definition encompasses a lot. I have started to discover who I am. As a wife, as a mother, as a child of God, and as Kristen.
I am Kristen.
I am child of God.
I am the wife of an amazing man named Aaron.
I am the mother of two precious daughters named Hailey and Aleah.
I am a daughter, a sister and a friend.
I love people.
I am passionate about foster children, teenagers, faith, parenting, marriage.
I love camping, being outdoors, rock climbing, singing, being with friends and family, hosting, cooking, writing.
I am me. And that includes EVERYTING God has made me to be.
I wondered who I was. Who I had become. Who that woman was staring back at me in the mirror. And then I realized I was still me. But the me I used to know has been redefined. In a greater and richer way. I now also hold the blessed title of mom.