who am I?

I have had so many moments where I have asked the question, “who am I?”.  I have looked in the mirror and looking back was a woman whom I didn’t know her true identity.  She had changed.

I have always wanted to be a mom. Always.  And God blessed me to be one.  I knew it was a selfless and wonderful calling.  But I didn’t know how selfless.  I knew I would do anything for them.  Do absolutely anything to keep them safe and help them know they were loved.  What I didn’t know was that I would give up a piece of me.

I used to know exactly who I was.  I used to have so many hobbies, passions, interests.  I was sure those were all still in there but I didn’t have the time to find out.

For quite a few years, I didn’t notice the loss of me.  Because I was so wrapped up in the new joyous adventure of motherhood.

But there came a moment.  And moments that followed.  Where I was not sure who I was outside of being a mom.  For years I didn’t even need to know.

But there I stood, in front of the mirror, looking back at a woman who resembled me but perhaps a little more tired and quite a few more smile lines from the wonderful adventure of being a mommy.

I realized at that moment that being a mom was the most honorable calling I had ever been given.  It was what defined me.  What gave me joy.  But I also realized at that moment that I felt lost.  Who was I?  Who is Kristen?  I started to pray about who I was.  Who I wanted to be.  I wanted to have goals, passions, aspirations that were outside the realm of motherhood.  For awhile I felt that was selfish.  I wasn’t used to thinking about me.  But I have grown.  I have realized that God made me me.  And there is a lot that defines me.  And although motherhood is one of my greatest most precious callings, I have been made for so much more.

I am me!  And that definition encompasses a lot.  I have started to discover who I am.  As a wife, as a mother, as a child of God, and as Kristen.

I am Kristen.

I am child of God.

I am the wife of an amazing man named Aaron.

I am the mother of two precious daughters named Hailey and Aleah.

I am a daughter, a sister and a friend.

I love people.

I am passionate about foster children, teenagers, faith, parenting, marriage.

I love camping, being outdoors, rock climbing, singing, being with friends and family, hosting, cooking, writing.

I am me.  And that includes EVERYTING God has made me to be.

I wondered who I was.  Who I had become.  Who that woman was staring back at me in the mirror.  And then I realized I was still me.  But the me I used to know has been redefined.  In a greater and richer way.  I now also hold the blessed title of mom.

~Kristen