a season to remember

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What a beautiful season Christmas is.  The snow.  The lights.  The music.  The people.  Jesus.

This season is also one where people reflect.  On life.  On blessings.  But also on loss.  The holidays bring up a certain reminder that there are people in our lives that are gone.  That will not be celebrating this beautiful season with us.

Today is my day to remember.

I was watching my two precious girls running down the hall and my eyes filled up with tears.  My other precious little girl is not here.  And I miss her. I so wish that I could have her for one Christmas.  I will never forget holding her, loving her. I loved every second.  I hold each memory as a precious gift.  I am forever changed by the blessing of the time I got to be her mommy.

I remember my Nonnie, my moms mom.  What a wonderful women she was.  It is still so hard to believe that she is gone.  Up in heaven celebrating the birth of Our Lord in person with Him.  But today, I miss her. She loved me so much.  She always believed in me.  She was one of my biggest cheerleaders.  She was an example to me of how to love people well.  How to be selfless.  She enriched my children’s lives by the love she poured out for them.  And, wow, did she love Jesus.   I could go on and on and on and on.   The memories that I hold in my heart are some of my greatest treasures.  The legacy that she left is one of my greatest gifts.  Nonnie, we miss you.  Thank you for the precious memories and the legacy of faith that you left.  Enjoy celebrating the birth of Jesus while sitting in His presence.

Inside your heart, there is a special spot that will forever belong to them and only them.  That sport starts out as an empty hole.  A painful reminder of what was lost.  But as God brings healing, He allows the emptiness to be filled with memories.  Wonderful memories of that loved one we lost.  The healing part takes time and the once empty spot still contains a certain amount of tenderness.  And it can start to hurt at any moment for any reason. The holidays usually hit that tender spot, reminding us of the joyous memories while also binging to our attention that we miss them and that they are not here.   And this leads to reflection.  Often times tears.  I used to wish it didn’t hurt, that I would stop crying.  But now I believe that each tear I cry and each time I remember so deeply to where I feel it with my whole heart, I am honoring them.  I am remembering the person that they were and the impact that they had on my life.

This is a season to remember.

~Kristen

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