Well – we have a peace about what we are supposed to do…. We do not feel called to foster again. Deep breath (for me that is)…. Aaron and I had been praying about it for quite some time and when we talked the other night, we both felt the same way. God is closing the door. Some say for now… but I really feel like God wants me to close it all the way. He could change that later but for now I feel as if He wants me to move forward and not focus on the “maybe later”.
Friends, this is hard for me. Hard for us. A friend of mine put it perfectly when she said, “it is hard to let go of something that has defined you for so long.” Yes! It is indeed so hard! It has been such a big part of who we are & of who we have become. It is a huge part of our faith journey. It has shaped us – molded us. Okay, you get the point. It has been big. But, we only want God’s will for our lives.
I was just so sure that we would do foster care again. Just thought it was our next step. But, it is not. With this chapter closing in our lives it is causing some heart ache over our little girl. It is indeed another step that is helping me let go – move on. It is not easy.
I am thankful that God has yet again answered our prayers and given us a peace about what He wants us to do. And we both have that same peace.
I will tell you, this does leave me wondering what God will call us to next. I am excited about that but at the same time it makes me start to try and figure it out – plan it. My mom told me, “Just enjoy where God has you right now. Enjoy the blessings. And just wait on Him – stop planning.” She knows me too well…. But she is so right. I want to just enjoy life and not miss it because I am so busy trying to plan the future. Especially when the future is not in my hands.
Thans to all of you who have prayed for us on our journey with foster care and who joined along side us. It is much appreciated.
I may have more to say about this later… after all, we just made the decision and I am still processing it.
Bye for now!