I want to blog. I miss blogging. But life has been so busy. We moved and, well, that is really enough said. But beyond that, I keep sitting down to write and I can’t gather my thoughts. But it is because my heart is focused on foster care and if God wants us to move forward with it.
I thought that we would for sure start classes in the fall to get re-certified for foster care…. but as I sit here, writing this, I am unsure of what we will do. We have such a passion for foster children. Such a passion. But, is right now Gods timing for us to start it all up again? We don’t know. Friends, foster care is hard. It really is and it demands a lot of us. So on one hand we have the passion and on the other hand the reality of it. Don’t get me wrong… there are so many realities beside just the hard ones. We get the honor and the privilege of having one of God’s children in our home – to love them and care for them in their time of distress. What an amazing honor that is. We get an opportunity to meet the birth families and to show Christ. To be His hands and feet. But, let me now take you back to the other realities of foster care…. the hard ones. When we say yes we take on a lot. And with that usually comes driving to visits three times a week for 2-3 hours each time. I am busy. I have two children – and we have a lot going on – not to mention that I Homeschool…. All that to say, I am scared that it will be too much. I am in a really comfortable place in life. And part of me doesn’t want that to change. I want what is best for our girls. Maybe that is being able to have more time and not doing foster care. Or maybe what is best for them is to join alongside their Daddy and I and love on these children.
The fact that we don’t know what the right decision is means that God has not given us direction yet… perhaps He is trying and I am talking too loud to hear Him. You know – I’m trying so hard to make the right choice based on pros and cons. But, God does not always work that way. We hear God when we sit still. We don’t have to make the decision – it is too big for us to make – we just need to wait on the Lord and then be faithful. We need to trust that His plan is best. That if we listen to Him there are no mistakes. That we can do all things through Him. I am sure he gets a kick out of me at times…. I am so busy trying to figure it out when all He wants me to do is sit still and listen.
The last time we did foster care we felt such a peace that it is what God wanted. We look back and would not change a thing. Not a thing. Because we know God’s will was done. And we want His will again – whatever that is.
God does not give us more then we can handle. So, when I said earlier that I am wondering if it is too much – the answer is yes. Foster care would for sure be too much without God. But with Him, well, it’s not – even when it feels like it is. And to be honest, maybe I am just scared. It is hard not knowing what that will look like – what will come of it.
The good news is that God is doing a work in me and I am thankful for that!
Pray for us friends as we wait on the Lord.