Yesterday, I was making breakfast for the girls and Hailey, in her sweet little voice said, “mommy, you might want to come over here and get this spider.” Uh no thanks! I have a phobia of those creepy crawly things. But, of course I went to check it out.
WOW! I am not sure that I have seen a spider that big before. You know it is a big spider when you look at it and it looks back at you. I think I probably ran before it did. So I got the fly swatter and tried to prepare myself to take this spider down. I gave myself a pep talk. I walked up to the wall and looked a little closer. This think was fuzzy… with big eyes and a whole bunch of nastiness. I raised my fly swatter and… froze. YUCK!!!
At this point I knew I had to take drastic measures…. .so I called my daddy. With tears in my eyes I said, “Hi daddy. Whatcha doin?” He said, “Why whats up?” I said, “there is the biggest spider in the whole wide world on my wall. I need you to come over and kill it.” He said, “your kidding right?” He could tell by the silence and occasional sniffle that, no, I was not at all kidding. So he said, “I will be right over.”
While we waited for him the spider made its way behind a picture. I told Hailey it was our job to watch that nasty thing and make sure it did not escape. It peaked its head (yes this spider was so big it had a head) out and looked at us. I got closer to it and it hid again. So, here I was, playing hide and seek with a spider…. just what I always wanted.
My dad got there and asked where it was. I could tell he thought this was the same situation it was when I used to cry and say that there was a huge spider. But, just wait…. he soon would see this was no joking matter.
He moved the picture out from the wall and saw this thing….. “Wow! That is really big. And it is gnarly looking”, he said. Okay good. I felt justified for calling him!
The spider fell from the wall and it was go time…. My daddy was all over that huge spider…. he took it down.
The girls and I all clapped and thanked him for coming to our rescue.
You know what I inherited because of this experience? Well besides the heebeejeebies….
SERGEANT SWAT. Let me tell you a little bit about sergeant swat. It is what some would call a fly swatter. Ohh – but it is so much more than that. Let me tell you what it written on the “instructions”.
– A military Spec swatter for the toughest pests!
- Recoilless design allows for swat-attacks on the even the largest of flying prey.
- Precision manufactured flapper and super strong steel handle creates the most lethal flying pest killing apparatus the world has ever seen.
- Superior balanced action allows for smooth, powerful swats – even while seated
- Will not bend nor break, even in the most severe of conditions.
– 888 Civilian Uses – Here are 8:
- Keep it in the truck for the winter and use it as a windshield scraper.
- For those that don’t mind spreading a little bug shrapnel, try it as a back scratcher.
- Emergency toothpick (works well but don’t let your wife catch you)
- Canoe paddle, never know when you’ll be up that creek without a real one.\
- Makes a good fish club.
- Beer can crusher
- Redneck badminton
- Manual mouse trap
- While sergent swat is effective on most campsite pests; is has been shown to only aggravate bears.
- Meant for backyard warfare between you and the flys – not your neighbors or dogs.
- Keep away from unruly kids (unless you like getting thwacked)
So there you have it… the best swatter ever. And it got the job done : ) Thanks daddy!